Realm of Randomness ..

There has always been this indelible discussion to find out what makes all these successful corporates and biggies attain the status they hold. Be it Google, Apple, Ubuntu or Microsoft. One question would be why just these four? I would say they lead where they are. Anyways a general consensus is formed over work ethics and culture and innovation and customer satisfaction and blah blah blah. But I feel the reason lies somewhere in the logo they hold. I thought if that was really the case, then one can surely see a statement from each of these biggies as follows:

Google: “Dude logos are important. We have a special group assigned for that. Moreover there is a daily 2% ‘Logo time’ for each employee. Look at our color combination. Look at its display. Look how we repeat the colors. Look how letters flow. Look at their inclinations. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success.”

Apple (after iPhone): “Obviously man. Do you think we don’t take logos seriously. We spend millions of dollars over deciding what colors to choose, what shape to choose. Look at our logo. See the shape of the apple, the leaf. Look how just a single bite is out of that”, with more of a sadistic smile “as if ready to eat Microsoft up. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success.”

Ubuntu: “Boss, do you think we are mad to neglect importance of logos? We build our softwares afterward. First thing is to decide upon the logo. We make each member of open source community to come up with his own version and select best through voting. Look at the delicate design formed. Look at the font used. Look at the curves. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success.”

Microsoft (after Vista): “Obviously man. Do you think we are mad to neglect importance of logos? Dude logos are important. We have a special group assigned for that. We build our softwares afterward. First thing is to decide upon the logo. We spend millions of dollars over deciding what colors to choose, what shape to choose. Look at our color combination. Look at its display. Look at the delicate design formed. Look at the font used. Look at the curves.”

One guy with zero credibility senselessly stands up and puts a sensible question. “Sir, sorry to interrupt you. But whatever you are saying is a simple amalgamation of what Google, Apple and Ubuntu say. That is a copy from different sources.”

In comes the reply from Microsoft guy, in the coolest possible way: “Buddy, thats the secret behind our success.”

[PS: The above situation is completely a virtual (truth). No hard feelings intended. Yes but if someone does get hurt, I would just say one thing: "Go to hell".]

Thats tagged as: microsoft humor

First thought one may get is what this title really mean. Truly speaking not something amazingly mind blogging. But I just kept scratching my bum over searching for the right word which i hardly could. So just replaced it with something sensefull and thought who cares. After all thats how new words are born and as an ardent user of English language its my even responsibility to add to its vast sea of gibberishes.

Ahh so backing to the topic, recently i heard about this CMM5 quality guru and an incident that happened with him. Forgive me I am bad at remembering the names. But anyways how does that really matter what you call him. In my senses lets say Mr D . This supposedly techie guy used to resurrect the importance of quality in software projects. It so happened that D had this kiddish habit of forcing his listeners into some situations and then try screw them when they answer. However this time around he promoted himself to a sadistic charm. He had a group of project leads as his listeners. Yawny as they always are, Mr D put them into a bit of critical situation. Here goes the conversation, obviously a spicy virtual one:

Mr D: Suppose you are boarding an aircraft which is a fully high tech one with Auto Pilot system, lights running all around, virtual air hostesses of shape and size of your choices. But the catch here is the whole software running is developed by your project group. There are no parachutes or any kind of emergency exit system. So in case your software fails, you rest in peace in your cosy container. Choice is yours; board the plane or pain your board.

Leads by now were pulled back to their senses. Seeing there life at stake, everyone hesitated to even walk in the aircraft. Their minds were running on a track somewhat as: “What the heck. Dude am least comfortable with aircrafts running with software developed by these geeks under me. Who knows these bastards left some untied piece inside. I don’t understand a shit and they don’t give a damn.” Actually speaking, Mr D was bubbling inside as this was his chance of scoring goal on quality. But suddenly a hand rose. Not only D but every single ‘D’umbo inside was shocked.

Mr D: Buddy lemme get it clear. Is it some kind of joke or you really are that confident. Dude this isn’t something what i expected. Tell me how are you so confident with your team. What do you run for so much quality control. Speak up before everyone leaves this room and rush to book a call with you.
The One(cool and yawny as always): Cool down man. Am least worried to board the aircraft. And I know nothing is gonna happen to me. Rather I am not gonna go anywhere. Just for the simple reason that if the aircraft is build by my team, it can never take off. Engines would never kick off.”

Just a midget silence and the whole room roared up into a huge burst of laughter. It got virtually transfered to a ball room where no one except performer cares how he perform. Mr D needed hardly anything to prove his point.

This whole lack of quality confidus (got something to do with confidence, but i though thats not the perfect word may rise to a level which would lead to a new breed of IT conversations. I am dressing it up. It would rise soon. Something by the name: Programmer’s Panico !!! Do hook up.

On my way while crawling the web, I noticed something which may be I was inadvertent to. I saw a time stamp next to the link which I opened. The screenshot below displays what i mean by that. I remember reading something along the same lines. But as i tried searching for a reference for the behavior, the efforts didn’t throw success.

However, the story doesn’t end at this stage. When I tried to playback the same in Internet Explorer, I was stunned to see no such behavior. So thinking that this has to do something with Firefox, I tried scanning other search engines for the display of time stamp, nothing really happen. So bulged a question. Is this behavior related with Google searches in Firefox? If so, whats so different in Firefox than IE? Moreover I am using the latest updated versions of both. I even tested it on a fresh version of Firefox. So i assumed it has least to do with mozilla extensions.

As if these questions weren’t enough, something more happened that assisted the assumptions. As i deleted the cookies, I wasn’t that hoo-haa seeing no stamp. But what baffled me was I was unable to redraw the same behavior.

So another question popped up in my mind. Does Google have some playing hours on internet, when they just put in some behavior into there search and pop it out as soon as they test it? Mozilla couldn’t do that because thats something that resides on my system. And if it does put something without my consent, I see some good time ahead of me. Anyways currently I have employed myself to demystify this abruptness.

A drowsy Friday afternoon. One sits at his desk, gazing at his clock arms strolling round its face. Just when he is completely down; about to dream his imaginations, a sudden buzz of “Hi” rises at the south-east end of his desktop. A smile props up at his face thinking ‘Thanks buddy for a bit of relief’. And suddenly something happens and he, the savior, is gone with his work done. You sit there stunned, trying to grasp what really stormed out. But plain abortive attempts! Incidents like these have happened with me many times now. Just another similar incident and i thought there is an exigent need to decrypt what the incoming messages really mean. So here i am penning down meanings of just a few abrupt messages which i have been decoding for quite sometime now …

HI (all caps) – “Look here u idiot… am too busy unlike u”
hi - “am bored like hell … and its a command u should talk to me. Anyways everyone knows how much work you do …. lol!!!”
hi … rut or u there- “reply soon u dumb… am in hurry and have some important work for you”
what’s up or kya chal raha hain – “i am least interested in what you reply, but for formality. and even i know your answer is going to be the same … ‘am fine’ “
thankxx – “am done with my work …. don’t expect any more messages after this”
uhhhh – “go to hell”
hhahha – “buddy i have to run … ok ok .. that was good … stop it for haven’s sake now”
hmmmm – “my mind’s empty now boss … have nothing sensible to say.. “
ok ok bye – “thats the last statement from me dude. nothing here after; even if u keep shouting your stomach out”
abe sun %$%^* – usual entry statement by a member of RandomBots

These are just a few messages which i was somehow able to demystify. May be not always do they convey the same meaning as stated. But then it goes for any decoded stuff boss. It’s meaning is not always what it is decoded as. However, there are many others which are enthusiastically popping to get naked. But they just keep fluctuating there meanings even more often than Sachin Tendulkar’s form. I am working part-time to decrypt those. Truly speaking, without really getting paid. Or am I?